Articles Tagged with: linkedin

Jamie Oliver’s hints as to how not to waste food

Do you already follow any of these practices?

Anything surprise you?

Go to original video by clicking here (to see English subtitles!)

This is a little gem for vocabulary… so, let’s start the competition.

Try naming the different foods as he goes along. Too many? Too easy? Too difficult?

Change the challenge… tell me… what VERBS does he use?

I realise that we’re doing a bit of publicity for Hotpoint here, but I think it’s a worthwhile exchange for spending a little time with Jamie!

Don’t forget to comment or to send your papers to your teacher or to: empresas@metodoelingua.es (if you don’t currently have a teacher with us, that’s not a problem, we’d love to help you out at enjoying your English).

Everybody has an ongoing say vs. PIPs

How does your annual review change your working habits? This is the thought behind this article, and NETFLIX set out to save time and uncomfortable situations. I think they did it, and it makes sense. Enjoy this part of the article, below. Remember, you can access the complete original article here.

Look at how this vocabulary is used, can you make sentences with it, or use parts of the sentences for yourself?

To measure performance
to get rid of someone
Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs)
To figure out how
Why bother?
play out
shortcomings
consistently rewarded for being great at her job
skills no longer apply
severance package
People were asked to identify things that colleagues should stop, start, or continue

What do you think about eliminating PIPs in your company, as HR?

What would you think of having informal 360 reviews, as an employee?

COMMENT BELOW!!

How Netflix reinvented HR, bit by bit. PART TWO.

Tell the Truth About Performance

Many years ago we eliminated formal reviews. We had held them for a while but came to realize they didn’t make sense—they were too ritualistic and too infrequent. So we asked managers and employees to have conversations about performance as an organic part of their work. In many functions—sales, engineering, product development—it’s fairly obvious how well people are doing. (As companies develop better analytics to measure performance, this becomes even truer.) Building a bureaucracy and elaborate rituals around measuring performance usually doesn’t improve it.

Traditional corporate performance reviews are driven largely by fear of litigation. The theory is that if you want to get rid of someone, you need a paper trail documenting a history of poor achievement. At many companies, low performers are placed on “Performance Improvement Plans.” I detest PIPs. I think they’re fundamentally dishonest: They never accomplish what their name implies.

One Netflix manager requested a PIP for a quality assurance engineer named Maria, who had been hired to help develop our streaming service. The technology was new, and it was evolving very quickly. Maria’s job was to find bugs. She was fast, intuitive, and hardworking. But in time we figured out how to automate the QA tests. Maria didn’t like automation and wasn’t particularly good at it. Her new boss (brought in to create a world-class automation tools team) told me he wanted to start a PIP with her.

I replied, “Why bother? We know how this will play out. You’ll write up objectives and deliverables for her to achieve, which she can’t, because she lacks the skills. Every Wednesday you’ll take time away from your real work to discuss (and document) her shortcomings. You won’t sleep on Tuesday nights, because you’ll know it will be an awful meeting, and the same will be true for her. After a few weeks there will be tears. This will go on for three months. The entire team will know. And at the end you’ll fire her. None of this will make any sense to her, because for five years she’s been consistently rewarded for being great at her job—a job that basically doesn’t exist anymore. Tell me again how Netflix benefits?

“Instead, let’s just tell the truth: Technology has changed, the company has changed, and Maria’s skills no longer apply. This won’t be a surprise to her: She’s been in the trenches, watching the work around her shift. Give her a great severance package—which, when she signs the documents, will dramatically reduce (if not eliminate) the chance of a lawsuit.” In my experience, people can handle anything as long as they’re told the truth—and this proved to be the case with Maria.

When we stopped doing formal performance reviews, we instituted informal 360-degree reviews. We kept them fairly simple: People were asked to identify things that colleagues should stop, start, or continue. In the beginning we used an anonymous software system, but over time we shifted to signed feedback, and many teams held their 360s face-to-face.

HR people can’t believe that a company the size of Netflix doesn’t hold annual reviews. “Are you making this up just to upset us?” they ask. I’m not. If you talk simply and honestly about performance on a regular basis, you can get good results—probably better ones than a company that grades everyone on a five-point scale.

An Honour Policy for Time-off? Really?

How Netflix reinvented HR, bit by bit. PART TWO.

You can catch up on PART ONE and read the beginning of this article. I believe it’s worth it.

Link to the original article.

Vocabulary to investigate before reading (links with meaning and pronunciation):

Food for thought:

Would you consider this to be a reasonable policy to put forth in your company?
Have you heard of any other company doing this?

COMMENT BELOW!!

PART TWO

With these two overarching principles in mind, we shaped our approach to talent using the five tenets below.

Hire, Reward, and Tolerate Only Fully Formed Adults

Over the years we learned that if we asked people to rely on logic and common sense instead of on formal policies, most of the time we would get better results, and at lower cost. If you’re careful to hire people who will put the company’s interests first, who understand and support the desire for a high-performance workplace, 97% of your employees will do the right thing. Most companies spend endless time and money writing and enforcing HR policies to deal with problems the other 3% might cause. Instead, we tried really hard to not hire those people, and we let them go if it turned out we’d made a hiring mistake.

Adultlike behaviour means talking openly about issues with your boss, your colleagues, and your subordinates. It means recognizing that even in companies with reams of HR policies, those policies are frequently skirted as managers and their reports work out what makes sense on a case-by-case basis.

Let me offer two examples.

When Netflix launched, we had a standard paid-time-off policy: People got 10 vacation days, 10 holidays, and a few sick days. We used an honour system—employees kept track of the days they took off and let their managers know when they’d be out. After we went public, our auditors freaked. They said Sarbanes-Oxley mandated that we account for time off. We considered instituting a formal tracking system. But then Reed asked, “Are companies required to give time off? If not, can’t we just handle it informally and skip the accounting rigmarole?” I did some research and found that, indeed, no California law governed vacation time.

So instead of shifting to a formal system, we went in the opposite direction: Salaried employees were told to take whatever time they felt was appropriate. Bosses and employees were asked to work it out with one another. (Hourly workers in call centres and warehouses were given a more structured policy.) We did provide some guidance. If you worked in accounting or finance, you shouldn’t plan to be out during the beginning or the end of a quarter, because those were busy times. If you wanted 30 days off in a row, you needed to meet with HR. Senior leaders were urged to take vacations and to let people know about them—they were role models for the policy. (Most were happy to comply.) Some people worried about whether the system would be inconsistent—whether some bosses would allow tons of time off while others would be stingy. In general, I worried more about fairness than consistency, because the reality is that in any organization, the highest-performing and most valuable employees get more leeway.

The company’s expense policy is five words long: “Act in Netflix’s best interests.”

We also departed from a formal travel and expense policy and decided to simply require adultlike behaviour there, too. The company’s expense policy is five words long: “Act in Netflix’s best interests.” In talking that through with employees, we said we expected them to spend company money frugally, as if it were their own. Eliminating a formal policy and forgoing expense account police shifted responsibility to frontline managers, where it belongs. It also reduced costs: Many large companies still use travel agents (and pay their fees) to book trips, as a way to enforce travel policies. They could save money by letting employees book their own trips online. Like most Netflix managers, I had to have conversations periodically with employees who ate at lavish restaurants (meals that would have been fine for sales or recruiting, but not for eating alone or with a Netflix colleague). We kept an eye on our IT guys, who were prone to buying a lot of gadgets. But overall we found that expense accounts are another area where if you create a clear expectation of responsible behaviour, most employees will comply.

Is Stress Real?

Introduction:

I love this website, making the viewer see the world through comedy and with a less or more critical eye. Sarcasm is indeed a very powerful tool.

Questions for thought:

What do you do to deal with stress?
Do you think that these thoughts are common?
What would your recommendation be, if it varies from that of the presenter?
Care to share your thoughts on the video?

Take time to think of the use of modal verbs. I am a huge fan of modal verbs. This is a link to some of my thoughts on the subject.

Check out the vocabulary in bold:
- overwhelming
- to juggle one’s responsibilities
- to get fired (to be sacked, to be made redundant)
- to take a deep breath
- to deal with something

Transcription for vocabulary:

https://www.theonion.com/is-stress-real-or-are-you-crazy-and-its-all-in-your-he-1826387707?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=The_Onion

The constant demands of modern life can seem mentally and physically overwhelming at times.

But is stress real or are you just weak and pathetic?

This is The Whole Body.

Juggling your many responsibilities may leave you feeling trapped and paralyzingly anxious.

But what you call stress is nothing more than a manifestation of your personal frailty filtered through your inability to function like all other normal people do. The simple fact is, the shortness of breath you get when thinking about the pressures of your life, this only happens to you. Everyone else is totally fine. You may think that you should be concerned about a bad breakup or a big project at work, but that is not how normal people react to those things. None of your coworkers are worried about getting fired. Nobody around you gets upset about their relationship with their parents, just you. Life throws the same problems at everyone.

Here is a normal person dealing with those problems, and here is you, not doing that at all, even though everyone else can.

When confronted with a demanding situation, the human body doesn’t get tense and jittery at all, only you do, because you’re a coward, who can’t deal with real life, and that needs to change.

Take a deep breath. Isn’t that nice? That’s how everyone except you feels all the time. It’s that easy. Even for big problems like war and disease, why do you care? You’re not fighting in a war. And even people who are don’t get upset about it like you do. So you may think you have innumerable problems and obligations crushing you, but here’s the good news, you don’t. Nothing is a problem. Problems aren’t real. They only exist because you think about them. And this weakness you have is causing you real problems, things like insomnia and high blood pressure that nobody else has to deal with. So when it comes to moving past this imaginary thing you call stress, all you need to remember is that the only thing wrong with you is you.

Modern Offices

http://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1239484483801/

Sometimes the best way to advance in your English is to think new thoughts with similar vocabulary. So… why don’t you share your first impressions of these modern offices?
Ask yourself some questions first:
Is this very productive?
What was the client’s reaction?
Can you describe the offices and the motivation behind the concept?

Enjoy!

This is a short quiz to test your listening with Joey’s famous phrase.

The Importance of Services in E-Learning

The majority of people prefer learning in an actual classroom to learning on their own, in front of a computer.

From a student’s point of view, I understand that one may prefer a teacher. So I have to ask myself, why? It may seem obvious, but the idea stems from the concept that nowadays, without any apparent obligation, we use the computer more and more in our free time, not only for working purposes. We use the computer because we want to. In the past, people resisted reading a book or the newspaper on the computer – not anymore. I have not heard that comment for quite a while (“I prefer the scent of the paper”).

I’m sure that if you look closely at your daily routines, both personal and to do with work, you can easily see where technology has won the battle.

So, I ask again, why isn’t this the natural tendency with language training?

Because it shouldn’t be. I firmly believe that one should not forget the value of a good teacher and a good professional.

Click to continue to read article

Did you know that more (three times more!) Europeans move to the USA than the other way around?

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-06-13/3-times-many-europeans-move-us-other-way-around

Before Reading this article, think of questions for yourself to answer as you read (I suggest writing them down first), according to the title.

Need help with the question?

Who?
What?
Where?
When?
Why?
How?

My questions:

Who moves to the States?
What motivated them to move?
Where exactly were they moving to?
When did this take place?
Why do we think that it could be the opposite?
How do the Spanish statistics uphold when comparing to Europe as a whole?

My questions to you, as observers:

Were you surprised by this?
Do you know anybody who has permanently moved to the United States?

My thoughts or observations before reading:

Does this have to do with the crisis that we are slowly coming out of now?
Has this always been the case?

3 Times As Many Europeans Move To The US, Than The Other Way Around

by Tyler Durden

Thu, 06/14/2018 – 05:00

Authored by Ryan McMaken via The Mises Institute,

In last week’s column comparing median income numbers from country to country, we found that, by the measure the OECD uses, median incomes in the US are the seventh highest in the world (not counting some tiny city states.) Even after including income from welfare programs, the median income of the US is about equal to that of Austria and Denmark.

These numbers include incomes from welfare programs, so it may very well be that the US’s relatively pro-market institutions really do lead to higher incomes for many millions of people — even including people in the lower third of incomes. Breaking out states showed that some regions of the US compare even more favorably.

The response to the article, of course, was predictable. Advocates for converting the US even more into a European style welfare state chimed in — in social media and in the comments section — with claims that European countries have higher life expectancy, lower crime, and are just generally better places.

This is often true, although comparisons don’t favor European welfare states nearly as much when we break out the US by states. Many US states compare quite well in terms of crime and life expectancy.

«On paper» comparisons, often favor the European welfare states.

When it comes to making comparisons of this nature, however, it’s always important to take a look at where people actually choose to live.

This has long been a useful tool in comparing US states, of course, and there’s been a long trend of people moving from high-tax states in the US to low-tax ones. When choice exists, many people vote with their feet.

And while it’s much more difficult and expensive to move from, say, Belgium to the United States than from California to Texas, the choices migrants make nevertheless can provide us with useful information. These moves tell us the demonstrated preferences of the migrants.

So, how many Western Europeans are moving to the United States, compared to migration in the opposite direction? A new report from the Pew Research Center titled «Origins and Destinations of the World’s Migrants, 1990–2017,» gives us some of the answers.

According to Pew’s helpful interactive map, Western Europeans move to the US in far greater numbers — both proportionally and in absolute terms — than Americans move to Western Europe.

Using Pew’s numbers, there are now 2.9 million people living in the US who were born in Western Europe. It’s imprecise, but for the sake of ease, we might say that as of 2017, Western Europe has sent 2.9 million Western-Europe-born people to the US. But during the same period, the US sent only 690,000 people to Western Europe.3 Part of this could be attributed to the fact that the overall population of Western Europe is 30 percent larger than that of the United States. (There are 419 million Western Europeans, and 323 million Americans.)4 But when we adjust for population, the difference is far larger than a mere 30 percent.

There are 6.9 Western-European migrants (to the US) per 1,000 people living in Western Europe today. By contrast, there are only 2.1 US migrants (to Western Europe) for every 1,000 people living in the US today.

These numbers vary considerably by country:

To make the method here clear, let’s use Ireland and Spain as examples.

According to Pew, 140,000 people now living in the US were born in Ireland. That’s a pretty small number in the big scheme of things, but compared to the total number of people in Ireland (4.7 million), it’s really quite large. This comes out to 29.4 Irish migrants (to the US) per 1,000 Ireland residents.5 At the other end of the spectrum is Spain. There are now 110,000 people living in the US who were born in Spain. But Spain has a much larger population of 46 million people. So, there are only 2.3 Spanish migrants (to the US) per 1,000 Spanish residents.

How does this compare to Americans living in Europe? Broken out by country, the results look like this:

(Taking all destination countries in Western Europe combined, there are 2.1 US migrants (to Western Europe) per 1,000 US residents.)

We can see, not surprisingly, that these migrants are not distributed evenly. The country with the most US-born migrants in Europe, both proportionally and in absolute numbers, is the United Kingdom. There are 190,000 US-born migrants in the UK, which comes out to about 0.5 per 1,000 US residents. The only other country that comes close is Germany with 0.4 US-born migrants (to Germany) per 1,000 US residents. All other Western European countries come in far behind Germany.

But even when Western Europe is combined together, we find that Americans move to Western Europe overall far less frequently than Western Europeans move to the US.

The UK case especially stands out as an example of the lopsided differences in US-Europe migrant exchanges.

With an overall population of 65 million, the UK is the birthplace of 750,000 current US residents. In contrast, with a population of 323 million, the US is the birthplace of only 190,000 people living in the UK.

Put another way, the UK has sent 3.9 people to the US for every one person the US has sent to the UK.

Expanding the Picture

Our conclusions don’t change much if we add in other wealthy countries that are likely to be attractive to Americans. If we include Australia and Canada in our analysis, the situation remains the same — even though these countries pose no language barrier to Americans. According to the Pew report, Canada has sent 890,000 migrants to the US. But the US has sent only 310,000 people to Canada in return. Meanwhile, the US population is about nine times as large as Canada’s population. Australia has sent 90,000 people to the United States. But, even though the US population is 12 times larger than Australia’s, the US has only sent 120,000 people to Australia.

Other Considerations

These numbers, of course, can be affected by factors other than a mere desire to move from one place to another. It may be that, due to legal reasons, it is especially difficult for an American to move from the United States to, say, France. It may very well be that Western European governments go out of their way to keep American migrants away. Or the prevalence of English as a second language throughout Europe may make it easier for Europeans to move to the United States, than vice versa. It stands to reason that far more Germans receive English-language instruction than Americans receive German-language instruction.

Ultimately, however, if Americans were truly motivated to emigrate from the US and take advantage of Europe’s allegedly far-more-humane institutions, then the language barrier would not be sufficient to hold back the enormous numbers of Americans clamoring to escape the US. And certainly, this rationale doesn’t apply at all to Americans looking to move to Canada, Australia, Ireland, or the UK. And yet, we find that the flow of migrants from the wealthy non-US parts of the world is significantly larger than the flow of migrants in the opposite direction.

None of this, however, should be interpreted to mean the United States is a paradise or without blemish. After all, far from proving perfection, comparisons like these could merely be illustrating that the United States is only relatively less awful than other places — at least in the opinion of the people who actually migrate to the US. Those who don’t migrate, of course, have demonstrated a preference for staying where they are. Moreover, its also abundantly clear that some areas of the United States are far more pleasant to live in than others. And that reality certainly leaves plenty of room for improvement.

But if Americans are going to be lectured on how much more wonderful life outside the US is, these critics at least ought to be asked to comment on why it is that so many more Europeans are moving to the United States, compared to the other way around.

Introducing a new collaboration – Gref – Elingua

Applied Negotiation Skills: How to Improve My Conversation Skills Part Three

This article is in Spanish, below. Abajo verás el artículo en español.

At the beginning of any given conversation – what are you really thinking about? What YOU want to say or what the other person is saying?

Be honest.

Normally, every person is thinking about the point they want to make. The ESL learner is also thinking of HOW to say what they want to say.

Why do we communicate?

We have something to say – so ensure they listen.
We have something to learn – so ensure you listen.

Why do we negotiate?

To reach an agreement in which both sides feel that they are gaining something – so ensure you finish every conversation with that sensation.

Many conversations have a level of negotiation involved – be it deciding on which restaurant to eat at or the key pieces of information necessary to include in the meeting the following day.

The truth is – every participant involved is thinking of their own purpose, and, they are thinking about it when you are speaking – not really listening to WHAT you are saying. So – How do we guarantee that they will listen to us? How do we ensure that this will be a positive negotiation?

Negotiating skills are complicated in your original language, but when you want to negotiate (or otherwise stated – to have an effective conversation) in another language, the difficulty increases.

I enjoyed this article concerning The FBI negotiation strategies in a hostage situation; and would like to add onto the information in order to apply the same strategy for successfully maintaining a conversation in another language. http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/

FBI Hostage Negotiation:

Active listening – Listen to their side and make them aware you are listening.
Empathy – You get an understanding of where they are coming from and how they feel.
Rapport – Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. They start to trust you.
Influence – Now that they trust you, you have earned the right to work on the problem solving with them and recommend a course of action.

In the previous article of this series, I spoke about the importance of active listening – basic notions to support the idea, and pictures that should trigger the readers’ thoughts on their own facial reactions.

This article concerns the first three steps of negotiating – active listening, empathy and rapport.

Let the other person speak, let them understand that you care and comprehend what they are saying. Once the conversation is a little more human, it is quite natural for them to return the courtesy, and ask you questions.

A few bullet points to ensure empathy and rapport:

Enter a conversation with the goal to listen first instead of entering a conversation to make a statement.
Use open-ended questions, making the other person speak, and thereby creating empathy.
When the other person pauses, do not jump at the opportunity to speak – encourage them to continue expressing their thoughts (“yes”, “I see”, “I understand”, “uh huh”…).
If you pause, this works to your advantage. You let them think more, and you let them want to ask you questions. This means that you are giving them the opportunity to introduce your idea into the conversation (instead of you having to force your ideas when the other person wants to speak).
Repeat what the other person says. You can never go wrong if you repeat the other person’s words – you learn and you let them know that you understand. A step further is to say what they said – but in your own words.

CLARIFYING with Active Listening – Empathy – Rapport

What is a closed question? –A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short phrase (yes or no for example).

Advantages of using closed questions for an ESL student:

There are fewer mistakes to be made.
If your level is less than the person with whom you are speaking, it is easier for you.
Only when you want to repeat – or mirror – what the other person has said (not at the beginning of a conversation).
You have more control over the conversation.

Disadvantages of using closed questions in negotiating:

They limit the other person’s response to yes or no. This may be useful for you – but it is not very empathetic, does not show good listening skills (unless you are merely repeating what they have said), and does not allow you to get much rapport from them.
These questions give no opportunity for any sort of unsolicited explanation to the other person, making them feel uncomfortable and limited.

Examples of closed questions:

Did you know that they had moved away?
Have you always felt this way?
Would you like milk in your coffee?
Where did you go to University?
Do you like to drive fast?
Do you have a pet?

Ref.: http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/open_closed_questions.htm

Open-ended questions solicit long and informative answers. Such questions usually begin with a how, what, and why and provide qualitative instead of quantitative information.

Advantages:

You do not put the other person against the wall if they do not know the answer, they may answer something.
The other person is free to answer how he or she feels fit – with more or less information, sharing what they want to (facts, opinions, feelings, details).
The other person feels in control.

Disadvantages as an ESL student:

If the other person has a much higher level than you do, you may get lost in the conversation easily. In this case, it is of great importance to be able to repeat and pause as much as possible.
Most people enjoy participating in a conversation in which the other person lets them speak and clarifies often – so – no worries!

Examples:

What do you think about… ?
Why did you participate in that race?
How do you imagine yourself in ten years?
Describe the previous meeting.
What is your reaction to that?
What is your opinion on…?

Ref.: http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/open_closed_questions.htm

So – Let us take these logical words of wisdom and apply them to language learning. It turns out that it is to your advantage to listen more. It is to your advantage to repeat and ask questions. These are all positive habits to learn better – so please – just remember – you do not have to impress anybody with your speaking abilities (speaking quickly, or speaking more), you have to participate in the conversation – from a position which is and advantage for you.

Closed questions are easier and give me the control. Open-ended questions are more difficult to understand and I give control to the other person. What should I do?

Begin with simple, introductory closed questions. However, try, as much as possible to end your part of the conversation – or use as much as possible – open-ended questions. You will undoubtedly begin to realize that having the power in a conversation does not mean that you get your way… or better yet, handing over the power to the other party does not mean that you will lose the negotiation.

SPANISH

HABILIDADES DE CONVERSACIÓN TERCERA PARTE

Al inicio de cualquier conversación, ¿en qué estás pensando realmente? ¿En lo que quieres decir TÚ o en lo que está diciendo la otra persona?

Se honesto.

Normalmente, cada persona está pensando en lo que ella quiere decir. El alumno de inglés, también está pensando en CÓMO decir lo que quiere decir.

¿Por qué nos comunicamos?

Tenemos algo que decir, así que asegúrate de que te escuchen.
Tenemos algo que aprender, así que asegúrate de escuchar.

¿Por qué negociamos?

Queremos llegar a un acuerdo en el que ambas partes sientan que están ganando algo, así que asegúrate de terminar cada conversación con esa sensación.

Casi todas las conversaciones tienen involucrado algún nivel de negociación, ya sea que se esté hablando de en qué restaurante comer, o buscando las piezas clave de información necesarias, para incluir en la reunión del día siguiente.

La verdad es que cada participante está pensando en su propósito, y lo está pensando cuando tú estás hablando, sin realmente escuchar, completamente, lo que estás diciendo en ese momento. Entonces, ¿cómo podemos lograr que lo hagan? ¿Cómo nos aseguramos de que lleguemos a una negociación positiva?

Las habilidades de negociación son complicadas en el idioma materno para cualquier persona, pero cuando quieres negociar, o dicho de otra forma, tener una conversación efectiva en otro idioma, la dificultad aumenta.

Disfruté leyendo este artículo sobre las estrategias de negociación del FBI en situaciones con rehenes. Se pueden emplear las mismas estrategias para mantener una conversación en otro idioma con éxito. En este artículo, extrapolo estos pensamientos. http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/

En el artículo anterior de esta serie, hablé sobre la importancia de la escucha activa: nociones básicas para respaldar el concepto e imágenes, para hacer reflexionar a los lectores, sobre sus propias reacciones (físicas) en conversación.

En este artículo me centro en los tres primeros pasos de la negociación: escucha activa, empatía y la construcción de una buena relación (rapport).

Deja que la otra persona hable, déjale ver que te importa y que quieres comprender lo que está diciendo. Una vez que ha hablado todo lo que quería, lo habitual sería que te devolviese la cortesía y que te hiciera preguntas.

Algunas formas que te acercan a los ejes importantes en una negociación:

Inicia la conversación con el propósito de escuchar primero, en vez de participar para decir algo cuanto antes.
Emplea preguntas abiertas, haciendo que la otra persona hable, y, por lo tanto, generando empatía.
Cuando la otra persona haga una pausa, no aproveches la oportunidad para hablar; anímale a que siga hablando («sí», «veo», «entiendo», «eh, eh…»).
Si hace una pausa, esto, en realidad, juega a tu favor. Le dejas pensar más y dejas que quiera hacerte preguntas. Esto significa que le estás dando la oportunidad de que te haga presentar tu idea en la conversación (en vez de forzar la presentación de tus ideas, cuando la otra persona quiere hablar).
Repite lo que dice la otra persona. Nunca puedes equivocarte si repites sus palabras; aprendes y le haces saber que entiendes. Un paso más allá sería decir lo que dijeron, pero con tus propias palabras.

PREGUNTAS PARA CLARIFICAR (tomando en cuenta los pasos de la negociación).

¿Qué es una pregunta cerrada? Una pregunta cerrada se puede responder con una sola palabra o una frase corta (“sí” o “no”, por ejemplo).

Ventajas al emplear preguntas cerradas para un alumno de inglés:

Hay menos margen de error.
Si tu nivel del idioma es inferior al de la persona con la que estás hablando, es más fácil para ti.
Se puede emplear para repetir lo que la otra persona está diciendo.
Tienes más control sobre la conversación.

Desventajas con el uso de preguntas cerradas en la negociación:

Limitan la respuesta de la otra persona a un sí o un no. Esto puede ser útil para ti, pero no es muy empático, no muestra buenas habilidades para escuchar (a menos que simplemente estés repitiendo lo que ha dicho), y no te permite obtener mucha relación – conexión con tu interlocutor.
Estas preguntas no dan la oportunidad para ningún tipo de explicación, no solicitada, a la otra persona y le puedes hacer sentir incómodo y limitado.

Ejemplos de preguntas cerradas

¿Sabías que se han cambiado de casa?
¿Siempre te has sentido de esta manera?
¿Te gustaría leche en tu café?
¿Dónde fuiste a la universidad?
¿Te gusta conducir rápido?
¿Tienes una mascota?

Ref .: http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/open_closed_questions.htm

Las preguntas abiertas solicitan respuestas largas e informativas. Tales preguntas generalmente comienzan con un cómo, qué, cuándo, dónde y por qué, y brindan información cualitativa en lugar de cuantitativa.

Ventajas:

No inoportunas a la otra persona si no sabe la respuesta, puede responder con algo, aunque no sea exactamente lo que querías.
La otra persona es libre de responder como quiere, con más o menos información, compartiendo lo que desea (hechos, opiniones, sentimientos, detalles).
La otra persona siente que tiene el control.

Desventaja como estudiante de inglés:

Si la otra persona tiene un nivel mucho más alto que tú, puedes perder el hilo de la conversación con facilidad. En este caso, es de gran importancia poder repetir y pausar tanto como sea posible.
A la mayoría de las personas les gusta participar en una conversación en la que, quien tiene enfrente, le permite hablar y le hace preguntas, así que… ¡no te preocupes!

Ejemplos:

¿Qué piensas acerca de…?
¿Por qué participó en esa carrera?
¿Cómo te imaginas a ti mismo en diez años?
Describe la reunión anterior.
¿Cuál es tu reacción a eso?
¿Cuál es tu opinión sobre…?

Ref .: http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/open_closed_questions.htm

Entonces, tomemos estas pautas lógicas, de sabiduría, y aplícalas al aprendizaje de idiomas. Resulta que es una ventaja escuchar más. Te conviene repetir y hacer preguntas. Todos estos son hábitos positivos para aprender mejor, así que por favor, solo recuerda, no tienes que impresionar a nadie con tus habilidades (hablar rápido u otras cosas), tienes que participar en la conversación desde una posición ventajosa.

Las preguntas cerradas son más fáciles y me dan el control. Las preguntas abiertas son más difíciles de entender y le doy el control a la otra persona. ¿Qué debería hacer?

Comienza con preguntas cerradas y simples al inicio de la conversación. Sin embargo, intenta cuando te sea posible terminar o usar, tanto como puedas, preguntas abiertas. Sin duda, comenzarás a darte cuenta de que tener el poder en una conversación no significa que te salgas con la tuya. Por ceder el control no vas a perder la negociación.

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